I have to pump down that AFK alert with something.

I've been told that somehow, in the comic, Amber has some money.  Mainly because she has her own apartment, with a couple computers and an animation desk as well as a flat screen.  I try to defend Amber bring thrifty and that everything's all second hand and stuff.  (She's got a computer, I'm sure she knows how to use E-Bay.) Also, outside of everything being second hand, she does show some pride in her living quarters.

But it does get me thinking about her parents.  I haven't thought of what kind of family she came from.  And how she supports her, and how they'll relate with Johnny once they find out about them.

This calls for some much-needed brainstorming.

What I'm looking for is a family that is generally supportive. While they can't pay for all the business expenses of her opening a studio (and Amber would refuse that help, even though she'd appreciate them helping her generally.  Read:  They let her use their washer and drier) they will support and root for her all the way, and even join in on the fundraising.

I'm not going for dysfunctional, but I will allow quirks in the family.

And if you don't want to discuss it in the comments, Private messages and the forum ( [link] ) can be used instead.

Thank you in advance for having me bounce ideas with you.

I'm going to be away from the computer this weekend, because I forgot to bring an important cable for my computer.  At least I brought enough for me to do a couple strips over the weekend while I'm petsitting.

I'll be back Monday Afternoon.

Got so many of them that I lost count.  So I'm replying to them all in this journal entry.

Thank you very much for your kind words.  I hope you enjoy the comic when it restarts tomorrow at midnight.

...and I'm filling up the pages as we speak.  By the time May the 3rd shows up, I'll have plenty of strips in the queue.....

.....now then, if I can control myself factoring in beta-testing Neverwinter.

I thought I could save enough money to get a newer machine in time.  No such luck.

I'm just now hearing a whirring noise in my E-Machines, and it's looks like the power unit is about to go.

While I can still compute (and even do some work) on the laptop, if the desktop goes, I don't know if I can keep up with the comic, or pretty much anything else for that matter.

Any form of assistance I can get is appreciated.

UPDATE:  I'll be getting a new computer next Wednesday (3 Apr 13) because I'll have enough funds to get a good one.  It'll take me a couple days to get all the programs installed, and then a couple more weeks to have the buffer primed.  I hope to get the comic back to running order by my birthday, 2 May.

For once, I'm actually looking forward to my birthday.

By now I agreed not to put my characters into anything that resembles fetish wear.  No Maids, no Bunny Girls, no Princess, nothing that ends up with my favorites here on DA.  That's not going to fly in the web comic.

I hope I can type what I'm thinking next without going into too much emo.

I still have a problem with what they'll wear when they "Dress up."  Amber won't be wearing her usual business casual skirt all the time, as you'd expect.  She'd probably have a dress in her wardrobe for when she goes out to find a date.  She'd also try to add some color to what she's wearing when she's being Johnny's handler in more public places (Like in the ballpark) or when she's on stage or studio announcing her projects, or a skit with Johnny in there.

And there's also stuff what Luna (Alex's fursona), Elisa (as a kig player), Sarah Dippy (Elisa's character) and Susan would wear.  If the former stuff won't cut it, I'd like to know what would, in advance, before I start drawing them.

I have some ideas, but I'd also want to get some suggestions from DA.  And not the "you better not put Amber in an Anime Character outfit, Mister Gonterman! I'm sick of your objectification blah blah blah blah blah"  I want actual suggestions and samples for me to work with.  Something that is better than a copyrighted material I use for placeholders.

I have some ideas right now, something that I hope look more realistic and makes a good base to tweak, but I know that there are better examples out there.

I do see Amber have a souped up version of her usual dress, where her outfit has parts of tuxedo grafted in (Her vest has coattails, her long tie is replaced by a bow tie, and she adds an accessory to her hair.  I might have something in the works during the weekend, and I want to get some feedback on the outfit before I finalize it, without having people bemoaning "You're doing it again, God Dammit" and telling me to scrap the idea.  I see Amber as having a Showgirl side when the need arises, and she might need an appropriate, but yet still-respectable outfit to wear while she's in that mode.

Most of the ideas I have right now is coming from the Disney Bound Tumblr [link] DisneyBound is meant to be inspiration for you to pull together your own outfits which work for your body and wallet whether from your closet or local mall. Most of them are derivative enough for me to work on with little to no tweaking, and people in the world would consider them more normal clothing.  (In fact, you might find some articles in the Thrift Shop the Nakama frequents.

Examples:  [link] [link] [link] [link] [link] [link] [link]

Personally, I think this is a step in a better direction, but if you have even better examples for me to work with, especially with an outfit for Amber in "Presentation Mode" please let me know.  I'd like to have something better than what I used to have.

Thanks in advance.

I talked a bit online about what I talked about on the above post and some reels in my head come up with some ideas on the comic, and it eventually goes back to the time when I went into Emo Move over Sonic 237 [link]. To recap, it's about Mina Mongoose reconciling with Nicole, who've been wronged major time and is pretty much cooped up in her servers during some major events in the Archie Continuity.  I made a parallel to my own life in general—especially with my online ostracization—and wished someone would come and do the same thing to me.  A series of what I've set up for 'Ballad of Johnny Briz,' (Spoiler Alert) which ties into both topics lead up to a future scene that deals with Elisa, the shut-in who discovers cosplay, then kigurumi, and then becomes Sarah Dippy to gather enough courage to venture out of her bedroom, and eventually return to her first love of singing and performing.

Here's the list of thoughts I had:
1.  While I intend to challenge my characters, I have this need to apply the Golden Rule to them.  Considering how I'd like to be treated in real live, and then treat them accordingly.  I just don't have the heart to be nasty to them.  A can apply karma to them, and allow the environment to test them, but I can't seem to do to them what Marvel, DC, or Archie does to theirs.

2.Elisa's current condition is similar to what I was in during my school years; where the treatment I got was similar to The Judge Rottenburg Center.  In time I just believed that I was put on this earth just to get swatted, and eventually I didn't bother get out of my apartment because I didn't want to catch another case of hell.  I think long and hard for years trying to reach to that kid and get him to think of himself as more than just Whipping Boy.  Until this week, I had no answer.

3.  Johnny believes in "It takes a Village to Raise a Child." He was an orphan in his rodent village and spent most of his childhood in a home run by a Sojourner Priestess.  (Think Buddhist Nun) While there, he recounts that the village came as a whole, similar to an African Village where the phrase came from.  "The whole village raised me as a child," Johnny would say, "and while it wasn't perfect, they did a pretty good job in my opinion." He believes that a human village, in a more local scope (emphasis on local) could and should do the same, so much so that he'd look at Elisa (or for that matter, a 14-year-old me) and claim that "The Village failed." He strongly feels that, even outside of people's monkeyspheres [link], people should be more kind to one another.  (Also unspoken is the obvious, for parents to be more proactive to kids troubled by behavior problems and not have to resort to strapping stun guns on their backs and tazing them every five minutes.)

4.  Johnny's new 'Village' in the human world started with Amber and the rest of her Nakama, but then branches over to neighbors, Amber's landlord, the nearby park, a couple local businesses, eventually including some school groups, a couple support and niche groups like cosplay and animation groups, a Minor League baseball team, and eventually his own studios and park at the end of the story.  He considers this to be his (new) Village, and would set it up as an example for other communities to follow suit.

5.  This is more important as I think about it.  What Johnny does to Elisa would be what I'd like to do to a younger version of me who's curled up in a corner thinking that he's irredeemably disliked:  Claim that the village has failed him and offer him another way to become a valued member of the Human Race.  Or in Elisa's case, invite her into being a part of his own magical-world-under-construction.

And that's what the Johnny/Elisa scene in my mind is playing out.  This scene is still far off in the future, and Johnny would find out about Elisa's story from Alex and Jennifer—who moved into Elisa's house after Elisa's parents moved out, intentionally leaving Elisa alone for the Banks to deal with her—and he decides to talk to her personally.

How he does this is classic Johnny:  He waits in the dead of night for Elisa to use the bathroom, he sneaks inside the room, and when she returns, she finds Johnny sitting in her beg.

Johnny: "Hello. "
Elisa: "EEP!!"
Johnny: "I was wonderin' if ya ever come out fer air."
Elisa: (thinks) "This mouse is bad for the heart!"

Eventually the shock fades, and Elisa finds out that she can't be scared of Johnny.  Maybe it's because of his Buddhist-like nature, or that when Elisa touches him, all of her nervousness and anxiety goes out the window, but Johnny has this calming effect to her.  Similar to how he brightens up a child's face when they see him.  Looking like a living cartoon character has its perks.

Johnny:  "I heard what happened ta ya.  It's been like, what, four years now?"  (That might surprise Elisa; she might not have track of time.) "Is this is what your live's gonna be? Is this how you want to end it?"

That line would be a go-to quote from that priestess.  Johnny would then go on to say that the Village failed her that bad day and he wanted to make things right.  "This room's not enough fer ya.  You've got a lovely voice and a talent to reach out to other folk's lives and you need to get back to that.  Your friends need you to come back.  I need ya to come back."

He'd then tell her about Amber's project and its real life component, and how Elisa can become part of it, if not as Elisa, as another character—in full costume—alongside him.  Even if she's in a kigurumi character (he points to a skinsuit Elisa would have) as a more silent handler for him.  Eventually, Elisa agrees with a big hug, accepting his offer to join him.

And in the next morning, Elisa puts on her costume, takes Johnny's hand, and lets the mouse lead her into a new life.

Granted, this might not be exactly what I'd like seen done for my younger self.  Probably a new youth group where I can make a new start and maybe a separate house where I can get away from my parent's hair.  And definitely with an advocate who can mitigate my needs better with both parents and school.  But in the web comic, it's almost exactly what I'd do it if I were in Johnny's shoes.  And with some more tweaking, it'll develop into a pretty decent scene.

(Contented Sigh)  Okay, I had that off my chest, and bumped down the objectification journal post from this page.  Now I can get back to the comic.

Previously ( [link] ) I emo'ed a little on people saying that I'm objectifying the female characters of my web comic ( [link] ) too much.  After some give and take, and some moping over my lack of a love life is subconsciously bleeding into my artwork, I was able to address this issue, and hopefully tweak my characters so that they look less like what I'd call "Masturbation Aids" and more like real people.  Hopefully this is a step in the right direction, and if there's other suggestions to improve on them, let me know.

It's one thing to have every character in the comic be the product of some lonely @$$hole, but it's another thing not to have any interpersonal relationships, budding romance, and a little bit of fluff into the story.  What I want to do is to list the main characters here, showing how they're improved from their not-so-humble beginnings.  Some of them are helped already by feedback from others, while others are still worked on in my head.  You'll see the evolution of each of the characters with the character sheets I post on the site, which in turn becomes part of the database.

Before I go on, I have to say it.  I'm only listing the 'real life' characters.  Clarice Kitty is a Cartoon Character in the strip.  She'll be wearing more clothes in the next short, sure.  But she's not connected to any of the other humans and I'm just saying 'Pass' on this character.

Also, there are some more Japanese terms listed here.  They're just for reference and plot devices.  They won't be directly implied on the pages.

I'll start with Johnny, then Amber, and then the others in alphabetical order.

Johnny would think of the rest of his human nakama ([link] as his second family.  They took him him, nursed him back to health, and let him live with them.  So of course, he'll do whatever he can to keep the team running smoothly.  Sometimes, this is played for laughs.  And when he sees a guy and a girl in the team that he thinks are compatible, he'll even do what it takes to bring them together.  Seating next to each other.  Putting on music and dimming the lights.  Ordering flowers for one in the other one's name.

However, Johnny isn't doing it because he wants them to 'mate.'  He just read up on how humans relate, thinks, "this is the way they do it," and tries to help them along.  Part of him doesn't even know better.  This will be played for an occasional laugh or two.  And he might not be right on his pairings.

In fact, the fluffiest Johnny'll get is when someone picks him up and snuggles him.  Like any other animal, if he trusts him or her enough, he'll let him or her pet him as if he was a household pet.  He'll even flop in someone's arms and murr as they rub his chest.  Think housecat rather than anything else.

Amber's relation toward Johnny is more maternal than romantic.  The worst she'd get with him is letting him have a corner of her bed with one of her arms touching his ear.  Again, think housecat.  She's got a couple guys in the dating field (see below) but nothing serious.  At least at the start.

What some would call objectification would be what I see Amber as:  A real life depiction of a Modern Disney Princess.  We're talking from the Eisner era on; Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, Pocahontas, Esmeralda, up to Merida.   Disney marketed these characters and focused on traits that girls would like to have.  Their beauty and pretty dresses, yes, but also their smarts, strength, courage, determination, and even a tendency of bucking the system.  And instead of waiting for their princes to come, they decided to take matters into their own hands.  This is what I want to show in Amber with an additional dynamic.  Instead of dreaming of a kingdom, Amber decides to make a kingdom for herself.  Keep in mind that I've styled her as a female Uncle Walt.  She has dreams of having her own animation studio, and eventually an amusement park in her own right.  And now she has a Mouse of her own to start it all. Forget glitter.  She going to use a lot of blood, sweat, and tears.

It's a far cry from the fashion magazines girls of today are force-fed.  You want to talk about "objectification?"  How about those anorexic fashion models wearing less clothing than Lady Gaga and showing less emotion than Barbie from the Toy Story series.  The figure that the mean girls in school prop up as what beauty is supposed to be?  (Amber would be as disgusted at those magazines as what I had her at the beginning.)

Now then, for the rest of the Nakama:

I've given a tip on how to filter out the objectification, go to the other side and insert some androgyny to balance them out.  From what I see, I have a good amount of that here already.

Alex's furry persona, Luna Skunk, is hardly objectified.  She's too much of a tomboy, and she wears normal clothes.  Or normal in a fursuit kind of way.  She's androgynous by nature, more desiring friendship and roughhousing than anything romantic.  She'll be easy to like once she gets on screen.

And Alex himself?  He's always experimenting with fabrics, designs, and all that.  Maybe he might invent a better costume idea and earn some money off it.  He's already modified a special impact-reducing gel on headpieces and he's working on an efficient—and easy to wear—cooling system.

Darryl's cross-dressing is out.  It became pure dross and easily tossed out.  Instead, I just have him as a just-starting vet Amber knows from college.  They've dated a couple times—and Johnny would make sure that they're together in a room—but they're more focused on their career to take things any further.   He wants to be a successful vet, and hopes that everything else falls into place.

Elisa's gone a long way from where I started.  Which you saw in her character sheet.  Long before the story started, she was an accomplished school performer and confident enough not to go Christina Aguilera on everyone.  Think of Miley Cyrus while she was Hanna Montana.  She wouldn't objectify herself at all even while wearing a dress.  It was the tragedy involving her first national talent show—where someone sabotaged her—that turned her self-confidence into fine powder.  So much so, that she shut herself away from the world, dropping out of school and isolating herself in her bedroom for over four years.  Even though she's in some recovery (with Alex and Jennifer moving into Elisa's home after her parents moved out) and is able to move around the house, the mental scars produced an incurable shyness that she could only get over through getting into Alex's costuming.

I'm afraid that it's here where Elisa gets into some objectifying, and it's a bit inescapable.  Since she has to put up a full costume, including a wig and some makeup, in order to get enough courage to go outside, it's a good bet that she'll be in something that runs up people's nose.  Granted, she wouldn't wear any fetish or sexy; she still has her standards.  But if anyone's in a maid costume or princess gown (or going out as a Kigurumi) on the page, it'll be her.  And her thinking that she feels the need to hide her true self behind these elaborate masks is a driving motive behind her character.  Does she get over her problems, take off the mask, return to the world, and then the stage?

Jennifer switched majors on me, which took most of her objectification away.  Now she's an animation major like Amber, and she's pretty much the kohai ( [link]  ) in the relationship.  While the Sempai/Kohai relationship is shown as such on-screen, it would not be referred to by that term.  She also has a quirk; any startling noise or scene, and her legs give out like a fainting goat.  Even an unexpected dropped glass is enough to get her on the floor.  More often than not to find Johnny's nose poking at her and him wondering what's wrong.

Then, Robert.  He's the business type who'll get Amber's business started.  I did the least work on him because I didn't have to.  He's just your down-home local guy just looking to make his own way in the world.  A good ol' boy, to some.  He might be hesitant and faulting when talking to the girls in the group, but he'll be the first to defend their honor when something comes down.

And finally, Susan.  While she's still a ninja, I know that the Kasumi outfit wouldn't do.  When doing ninja stuff, she'd either have on a shirt, vest, shorts and shoes (an example would be Archie's post-roboticization Sally Acorn [link] ) or maybe a full body black outfit.  While she's smitten with Johnny and ends up being his significant other, she has another part of her persona that shows up once she remembers her past.  She believes that her village is destroyed and with it all of their secrets.  She might not find any other members of her clan, so she thinks that it's up to her to keep her style of Ninjitsu going.  How she does that is still up in the air, though she might look into putting down a manual or try to remake the clan so that the secrets doesn't die with her.  Maybe she'd want a child to pass down the secrets.  And maybe she shares some of them to Johnny.

Emo warning here, if you need a head's up.  I don't want to get all martyrdom on you or go out with my tendency to not say anything nice to myself.  I just have some things to get off my chest and hopefully I can say it without someone chewing my head off.

It seems that every fsking time I try to depict a female, more often than not I'm accused of objectifying women.  Sure, I might do maids, princesses, cosplay, and so on, but what other guy does it from time to time.  And in the most recent instance, the princess I 'depicted' is hardly objectified, but someone who is pretty, smart, brave, and very much able and willing to make her own kingdom.  From scratch.  At times, that's what I see Amber as; a Disney-ish princess who decided to go Hardcore and make her own kingdom.

And for that, I'm being objectifying?

Usually, I would just blow it off and think it's coming from some killjoy, but really, it's getting to me.  How come some people think I'm some misogynist or that I feel that I'm labeled as such?  It's not that I just wake up every day and decide to be a caricature of some dudebro thinking of 'fake gamer girls' all the time.

But as I look back at my life, and I think I could see a sign, and if I think of it, what alternative do I have.

It might surprise some, but I'm actually not a virgin.  I did have a girlfriend.  It was a high school sweetheart that my parents didn't like much, but at my untouchable social standing, I was just glad I had one.  But eventually she broke up with me, and I didn't know which hurt worse, the break up or my parents not being happy about it.  Or just not showing it.

This happened during the late 80s early 90s, when I was really going deep into depression and schizoid effectiveness.  It was all but impossible to hold/get a job and I was still living in my parent's basement.

Then during the mid-90s to early Naughts (my 20s) , I became in essence Chris-chan Version 0.7 and there's no denying that. I'm not being a martyr here, I'm just stating my history.  And being grateful that nobody ever came to my house to troll me.

In the early to mid Naughts (my 30s) , I had to live in supported housing.  Which roughly translates to "living with people more bad off than me with counselors who consider you a child."

Then in the late Naughts (heading into my 40s now) I finally moved into my apartment and steadily getting my economical crap together.  Granted, I'm still on SSI, but I have my own apartment, I moved on from straight-up fanfiction, started writing novels with some success, and now getting back into making a web comic with people who I actually listen to so I can improve my artwork.  I'm even starting to socialize with some groups and looking forward to finding more places to meet people.

But I had this problem.  All during this time, up to and maybe including the current day, I'll be the first one to admit it.  I was Undateable.

And I'm not talking typical nerves and uneasiness around woman.  You look back at my live and tell me that any woman would want to be near me.  I'll accuse you of being on crack.  Also, when you're on the spectrum and have problems a) catching social cues and b) having a filter in your mindset, it become frighteningly too easy to be misunderstood or say something wrong or do something you shouldn't and really get into trouble.

Never mind trolls following me around.  I didn't want to end up on Mary Povish. Or worse, Jerry Springer.  Or worse, Steve Fsking Wilkos.  Insert your favorite Court Show here?  The Nightly News?!  Some asshole in a Pickle suit?!

So I never went "on a Love Hunt for a boyfriend-free girl to make into a sweetheart from the ground up."  You're welcome.

And now, I sit back, and feel the loss of an opportunity that, when I think about it, was never mind to begin with.  I was feeling this last year and now I'm putting it to words.  I've only got myself to blame for this, but for some reason, I really can't blame myself.

So here I am fantasizing on paper, or in a poll, or wherever, about a pretty girl, bright and friendly, who'd actually want to talk to me.  And sometimes she dresses up.  Sure, it's not real, and some might say that I've never really had a relationship with a real woman.

But at times, I feel, it's all I have.


EDIT:  There.  A little cursory proofreading with the help of Microsoft Word did a world of good here.

I should make a pic of JB going: "Brace yourselves.  Fennekin fanart of all stripes are coming."  I somehow know that Fennekin pron is in the works right now, and Nintendo has only announced the titles.

At least it took away the attention on the two names for these pair of games.  Looks like they don't have those big Crayola Boxes in the offices there.  Didn't count of them running out of colors this soon.

I just got the suggestion for me to use something like Poser, Daz Studio, or Miku Miku Dance as an on-screen mannequin to help my figure drawing in the strip.  I think it's a great idea, but I'm completely new in this area.  I'd like to have a set-up where I have nothing elaborate, just a program that has a mannequin figure that I can fool around with.  Any help in how to get that installed and running will be greatly appreciated.  Thanks in advance.

In light of what is going on in Marvel Comics these days, I would like to announce the following.  These are ten things that will NOT be happening in "The Ballad of Johnny Briz."  Consider these my selling points.

1. None of the main characters will die during the story.  Okay just one character in all, but that's it.  I'll give you one hint:  By the time this person bites it, it shall be Karmatic.

2.  Nobody will get roboticized.  (I'm looking at you, Archie.)

3.  Nobody will have their memories transferred to their arch nemesis.  (I'm looking at you, Marvel.)

4.  There will be no blockbuster year-long universe resetting omni series full of wagnst (I'm looking at you, DC.)

5.  The male characters will not have boobs. (I'm looking at you, Lefield!)

6.  Photoshopping will be used at the base minimum if at all. (I'm looking at you, Land!)

7.  There will be no constant changing of the origin story of the characters.  (Now, whoever's doing TMNT this time, if you can bring Miyamoto Usagi into the series, all will be forgiven.)

8. There will be nobody dressing up in fetish wear, even when cosplaying. (There's one big-chested girl who'll appreciate that.)  Side note: Kigurumi counts as Cosplaying.

9.  Inter-species relations will never get beyond first base!

10.  Rules 34 and 63 might end up occuring in any fan works (be it in any form) but it will never happen on 'camera' on the strip proper!  (And all of the characters within rejoice, especially that big-chested girl!)

ITEM:  I have the first part of the pitch bible, the one with most of the main characters involved, ready for an initial review and haggling over.  However, you need to go over at this [link] and sign into my message board, and then let me know (best result by a Note here) that you're accepting my invitation to be a collaborator.

What I want out of those who want to work with me is to let me know what parts are going great, and what parts need help on, either a little or a lot.  I'm sure there's a couple characters in there that could use some assistance, especially the two scientists.  As long as you follow Wheaton's Law, you won't have much problems with me.  Of course, if there's an glaring error in grammar or a part of the sketch that is off kilter, I'll hear that too.

And at the very least, you can provide second and third opinions at some of the more bloviating commentators on the forum as well.  I don't mind open discussions, but I don't want Mookie's hatedom either.

ITEM:  I finally got a list of poses I need to find for my anatomy studies, which I'll use for the initial batch of pages.  Any and all help in finding the right reference pic will be greatly appreciated.

• Leaning back on a chair and crossed legs on the desk.
• Someone tending to their fingernails.
• Someone looking in the peephole.
• Someone leaning back and ready to charge.
• Someone kicking the door in.
• Someone swinging on a rope
• Climbing up on a ladder.
• Someone swinging on a pole
• Looking back at someone behind him
• Someone cracking knuckles.
• Someone leaning back and falling backwards.
• Throwing up their hands in celebration
• Hands holding a plastic cup.

No amount of upgrades and performance boosts will ever get me to upgrade as long as they keep that P.O.S. Metro in it!  I don't care what it's called or that they don't call it at all.  And what is this about Microsoft just calling it windows?!  Windows 7 is Windows.  It has that Main Menu at the lower right corner, and a pretty decent Power Bar.

A tiled main menu that insists to be loaded even if you don't want it?!

That might work in a tablet or a touch screen, but when you still use a mouse and keyboard to operate a decent computer, that is not Windows.  That is utter $#!*!  

Microsoft dropped the ball on Windows 8.  They almost had perfection with Win 7, but when they force Metro on everyone they flat out ruin it.  Now they have what I'd refer as "The Windows XP for the Teens!"  It makes Vista look good.

Heck, it makes ME look good!

Fortunately, Windows 7 will still be supported for most of this decade, so I can upgrade to Windows 9 when/if Microsoft learns their lesson!

This particular comic [link] really speaks to me, and it's not hard to figure out why.

Working on a couple introductory pages which I'll post here, but after that, I'd like to put the WIP strips somewhere more private, a VIP inner circle where those I trust with the constructive criticism can send me the feedback and not have the comic spoiled for everyone else.

I'd like to have it in a private DA group, but DA doesn't do that.

And the next best thing runs into a problem I always have:  To have this private inner circle in a forum on my own site.  I can easily set up a group and VIP status in the JB forum, but the problem would be getting people to join.  It's like hearding cats at times; some are here, some are on IM, some are on E-Mail, and everyone's hesitant to move to any other place, even if it's a common ground area where we can discuss things in private.

If anyone here is interested in moving the haggling to a different server where I can keep it away from the average reader, please let me know.

Because I needed to get that heavier journal off the main page anyway...

I almost got the Web Comic web site [link] up and ready, with the menus set right and the data base I have for it almost set for the start of the strip.  Now I just need to get to the Pitch Bible and fill that out, which will include the script for the first Chapter.  That will take me most of the rest of the year, but it'll be worth it.  And once I got everything assembled, I'll be able to share it with others for haggling purposes.

Elsewhere on the internet.  Probably on the JB forum: [link] Someone told me that I'm having problems letting go of my past, which is being nothing more than a victim of the trolls so long ago.  And I have to admit, it has affected not only my current projects, but also my image of me as a person, both online and off.  (Remember all that negative talk about myself earlier this year?)  That was related to this.

I want to let go of my past.  To move on from that bad time, get my crap together, and stop being so damned paranoid about it.  Problem is, I just don't know how.  I'd love to forget about trolls on the internet, but when some people say that even quoting Wheaton's Law [link] attacks them more than it repels.  (I'm nobody special, I just want to chat with people who won't call me f__ every other word. Wouldn't anyone else want that.) I wanted to turn over a new leaf, and I really want to do it with "The Ballad of Johnny Briz" so that what's left of my future doesn't involve a bottle of booze.  As a friend of mine said, "You had a bunch of big dreams, but you screwed it up."

The main problem I have now is, I don't know how to do that.  Sometimes I feel that it's too late for me to get back the big dreams that I had so long ago.  Only time, and whatever happens with this strip, will tell.

I do know one thing for sure, I'm going to need help. 2012 is a low point for me, and I'm doing my G-Dnest to pull myself up.  I need to find a way back to the big dreams I had when I was younger, and when I didn't care what people thought about me, and without a past to egotistically wallow myself into.  But I might need some support so that I won't make anything worse.  (Part of me feels that I'm making things worse just by posting this journal entry!  I hope that's not the case.)

The first thing I need to do is to remove all references to the bad stuff from my site.  The constant reminders to "------ my name," (I actually bleeped out the first word and it isn't an obscenity) or references to troll pages.  I'd like to remove them, but I fear that I might not get them all.  If there's anyone who'd help me with this, I'd greatly appreciate it.  It'll be a good start.

My latest artist block concerns how Amber makes Johnny a Bona Fide Cartoon character.  I have the pen that will speed up the animation process, to work alongside her computer and tablet.  I have it so that she'll (thanks to all of her McGruffins) hand draw the cartoons with the help from a smaller group.

It's easy to make 1920s-era versions of the Chromatown characters.

But I'm having problems with making a 1920s version of Johnny, so that he'll look on the page like a Classic Cartoon Character.

I tried making it myself, but it just looks too Uncanny Valley for me, so I'm opening it for suggestions, you can even make a picture of what he'd look like. The one with the best image will have credit in the making of this design for the web comic.

Working on the Episodic breakdown on Act 1 right now on Word, and while I'm trying to hop over some writer's blocks, I think it's a good idea to send it to my circle of idea hashers.  I'll keep a copy of it in sta.sh for people to comment and suggesting of alternatives.

WIP #1 is here: [link] And I hope that you-all can get to it from your end.